


Tethered Above, Anchored Below

by briaeveridian



Series: Canon-Divergence [5]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben POV, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), One True Pairing, Soft Ben Solo, The Force Ships It, canon divergent from the battle of Crait, i had this hankering to explore that just a tiny bit, so much passes between Ben and Rey during their final TLJ forcebond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29616279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/briaeveridian/pseuds/briaeveridian
Summary: After the battle of Crait, Ben walks the Resistance base in search of something. Once more, his hand remains empty. But a final bond with Rey offers an unexpected chance.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Canon-Divergence [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918030
Comments: 11
Kudos: 23





	Tethered Above, Anchored Below

**Author's Note:**

> Not much. Just a bit of emotional dribble.

Ben doesn’t know where to go. It’s silent and devoid of anything living. Vacant shadows encircle him. As they always have. _As they always will._

There’s no one else here. No Resistance volunteers or First Order commanders. Ben shut the door on the latter, loudly and with disdain. But he’d secretly longed to find the former, for an opportunity to see her. 

_Did she watch what happened? Did she hope Luke would save me? Or maybe she felt pride that her clever brother outwitted her despicable son?_

Bile whips up his throat, hot and acrid, making him grimace. He tries to swallow the sting of it but knows it goes deeper than physical discomfort. The acid will continue to eat away at him indefinitely; Ben never needed Snoke to tell him that. It was one of his earliest realizations as a child, that something loathsome and evil inhabited him and he would never be rid of it.

He glances around the space, aching for a sign that someone who once cared for him was here mere moments before--when he’d faced his uncle and lost, in front of everyone. _Oh how the galaxy will eagerly tell the story of Luke Skywalker’s heroic sacrifice, how he distracted Kylo Ren long enough for the Resistance to escape._ A fatigued sigh escapes him.

It’s the kind of story he would have loved as a child. But Ben was forced to grow up very quickly in order to survive. _What a privilege that so many still believe in the goodness of the Jedi._

Someone shouts on the other side of the door. Ben guesses it’s Hux, who must currently be fuming at the new Supreme Leader for his catastrophic and very public failure. But he doesn’t care. Instead, he finds himself wondering what Luke said to his mother; the very last words that passed between the Skywalker twins.

_I doubt he told her the truth._

His lungs seize uncomfortably and Ben has to focus on breathing for a little while. There’s resistance inside him, a protest against living any longer within the confines of this battered life. But he pushes through it, letting the quiet of the room remind him that at least _Snoke is gone. There are no more voices to plague me._ It’s a notable consolation.

When at last he opens his eyes again, the darkness of the room presses closer. Then his eyes are tugged toward a ruddy glint on the floor near the largest control panel. In an instant he’s on the floor, one knee bent and gloved fingers tentatively reaching for the item.

It takes only a second to recognize it.

He wishes he didn’t. The gold dice have a dull luster in the gloom. A memory swoops viciously over him, one of his father, head rolled back with laughter, dice splayed across the table. Uncle Lando looking frustrated with the clear loss but no less jovial.

 _How did these get here? Did my mother leave them? Was I supposed to find them?_ Ben blinks violently, chokes on his own saliva. He starts to curl his fingers but the dice inexplicably dissolve. He stares at his now empty palm, frozen with emotion.

 _No, no, no. I don’t have anything of his, or of anyone elses’. Please let me have one thing._ Ben buries his face to cover the tears and sucks in air strenuously. Both his hands tremble, sweating beneath the layer of leather.

The recent humiliation has already shifted from agonizingly molten to startlingly brittle. He is porous, left permeated by Rey departure, _rejection_. By Luke’s appearance and exploitative victory. Ben’s too tired to feel anger. 

Then, he’s not alone.

His throat constricts. “Rey.” It’s a nearly inaudible rasp but she hears it. He knows she does because her head whips toward him and she suddenly looks drained. Bone weary.

She observes him distantly and Ben fears her aloof inspection will lacerate whatever remains of him. _She will never take your hand. Not now. She saves the galaxy that you destroy._

After a beat she shakes her head at him, a brief rigid movement that hurts like a slap. Ben can see the firm resolution in her eyes. Maybe there’s melancholy in her irises, too, but he could be imagining it. 

“It’s too late.” She raises her chin and places her hand on the ship’s control panel. Any second she will shut the door and he won’t see her again. _She will block me out. I won’t be able to reach her._

He attempts a desperate thing because he has nothing else.

“I know. That’s what I told my father. He didn’t believe me.”

Her stony look makes it clear his reply didn’t persuade her of anything. _Why did I think it would? She saw me kill him. There’s no forgiveness for an act that reprehensible._ To prove his thought, she takes a tremulous breath, looks away. Then her face changes and Ben compulsively studies her shifting expression. 

He can tell there’s someone close to her on the _Falcon._ Someone she would prefer to look at. _Someone who is not me._

He tries another shameless tactic.

“Will you think of me?” 

She turns back to him and Ben flushes at once. Her affected glare fades. When she speaks, her voice falters. “Why should I?”

He doesn’t respond, looks anywhere but at her. His insides coil painfully. She softens at last.

“Ben. I don’t understand why you chose this path. You could have...” Rey visibly swallows. “You could have come with me. Turned away from all of this.”

He looks to the floor, back up at her. “And would _you_ have turned away from all this? Or did you think the Resistance would have accepted me after all I have done?”

Rey shuts her lids against reality. “Maybe we could have found a way forward. The two of us.” Silence builds and her eyes snap open. “I did want to take your hand. _Ben’s_ hand.”

The confession slams into him. He sways from shock, disbelief, then, incredibly, _hope_ kindles at the words. He rushes to his feet. Rey’s there in front of him, framed by the _Falcon,_ hair down and beautiful, fierce. Abruptly, more than anything in the galaxy, he wants to fly that ship with her. Wants to sit beside her where he dreamed he’d one day sit with his father.

Ben’s heart jerks wildly within his chest. His jaw is slack from overwhelm and longing. It’s viscous within him, fervent. 

_I need her to know._

“Rey,” Ben chokes. Before he knows what’s happening he’s surging toward the vision of her, close enough to touch but somewhere amidst the snowy peaks of Crait. She doesn’t withdraw, doesn’t have to. Others mill around her, an unknown arm raises to shut the _Falcon’s_ door. He knows she won’t respond. But he doesn’t care.

“I love you.” He shoves the words between them, flung along the taut strings of the Force. They vibrate the air that slips into her lungs as she gasps. Her response is immediate.

“I love you, too.” She forms the words without sound. For an instant he imagines running his thumb along her lips, to trace the utterance, feel the whisper of air against his skin. In a rush, he envisions doing more with her, urgent and devout, and his blood turns hot in his cheeks.

Instead, he must watch her disappear. He feels the suction of the door fitting into place. It makes him shudder slightly. _How many times did I watch my father shut that very door on me?_

He’s alone in the abandoned base. Alone in his own mind. But now, there’s no dread or malcontent. There’s only a burgeoning electric thrill that maybe _it’s not too late after all._

Ben makes a new choice with a singular purpose in his mind; to tell Rey he loves her in person and finally, maybe, feel loved in return.

**Author's Note:**

> ✨Thank you for reading. I'll be working on a few more canon-divergent stories soon...
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](https://briaeveridian.tumblr.com/) where my SW obsession lives aggressively.


End file.
